Welcome to my blog page. I am the Mom in this family and my name is Darlene. My dh is Barry and my kids are Christine, born Jan. 8, 1989, Joshua, born Apr. 19, 1995, Sarah, born Feb. 28, 1997, and Becky (Rebekah), born Dec. 9,1999. We are a homeschooling family and live in Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada. You may want to check out my web page at http://www.geocities.com/va3dlw/hcfl.html or read our story with FACS by visiting http://free.freespeech.org/herod/ and scrolling down and clicking on "Port Colborne" And here is my testimony for Jesus Christ, as emailed to a friend: I grew up in a home with an abusive, atheistic father and a mother who gave lip service to God, but not her heart. She also taught us that if we were good, that would get us into heaven. And I tried to be good. In fact, I tried to be perfect. Of course, I failed miserably. Then when I was 12, my father's boss's wife invited us to a VBS her church was having, and my parents allowed us (my brother, sister, and I) to go. This was the first time I had ever heard the bible's truth that salvation is by the finished work of Jesus on the cross and has absolutely NOTHING to do with being good! I enjoyed the VBS so much that when another church in town had a VBS, I wanted to go to that one, too. One night at the second VBS, the pastor asked if anyone wanted to go to heaven when they died. Then we were told to see him after the service if we did. My brother, sister, and I all went. My sister and I were led in the sinner's prayer, but my brother was told he was too young. He was devastated and went home crying that if he were to die that night, he would go to hell and there was nothing he could do about it. And now, as a 38 yo he is still rejecting God on the grounds that if God didn't want him then, he doesn't want God now (note added later: My brother is now 40, and after the death of his unborn baby and almost losing his girlfriend [tubal pregnancy ruptured] last summer he has begun reading his bible). Anyway, we were allowed to go to Sunday School if we wanted, but we had to get up on our own and get there ourselves -- my parents weren't going to get out of bed on Sunday to send us. Well, I went when I could, but with no alarm clock, I slept in often. Then we moved out of town and that ended the Sunday School. In my late teens, I tried going back to church and accidentally went to the "wrong" one (I wanted to go to the United Church, where my mother had started going, but went to the Baptist Church by "mistake"). There I heard a message about how you didn't need to be perfect before you come to God. I had tried, once again, to become perfect in the previous month or 2 so I would be good enough for heaven. I know God meant for me to hear that sermon, even though I still didn't get serious about church yet. As a teen, I got into Ouija boards and as a young adult, added reading my horoscope, card reading, ESP, teacup reading, and tried astral projection unsuccessfully. Then one night our house burned to the ground (this was the third time we had lost everything in fires, and each time I tried going back to church, but it never lasted). The next week, I went back to church. But this time, I didn't go to the United Church like I had before (When I went to the "wrong" one, I was in a different community from the first 2 United Churches I had been to). I went to the church that didn't expect me to be perfect. This was the beginning of a spiritual growth. Then there was another time shortly after when a seeming adversity turned out to be a blessing. About 5 or 6 months after the fire, I was renting an apartment, but was on Unemployment Insurance. My UI did not pay enough for me to afford the rent, and I lost the apartment. A Christian friend who was also finding times tough took me in as a boarder. So she had an extra $100/month, I had a cheap place to stay, and it turned out to be a spiritual "incubator" for me, where I was nourished spiritually for a year or so. Then when God felt I was ready to be on my own spiritually, He moved me to Ontario (1100 miles from Nova Scotia, where I had been living for the past 10 years). My new home was only 1 block from a very spiritual church and I truly was ready to make it on my own spiritually (I mean without the "incubator", not without God). I have had times since then when I have fallen into sin, such as having sex with my fiance (who I ended up not marrying because he returned to alcoholism). But I tell my daughter, who resulted from that sin, that she is a perfect example of God saying to me, "Yes, what you did was a sin, but I love you, forgive you, and want to bless you anyway." I am now married with 4 kids. When I was pregnant with Christine, my blood pressure went up, but it was controlled with diet and bedrest. When I was expecting Joshua, it went up again, and diet and bedrest weren't enough. I had to take meds to control it. Then with Sarah, even the meds weren't enough. She was born 2 weeks early and only weighed 5 lbs. 15 oz, even though she was 20 inches long. Her skin was just hanging on her and she looked like one of those babies you see on the commercials for the third world. The doctor told me that my body was distressed by the blood pressure and had cut off circulation to my womb. If she had gone to term, she would have died either of starvation or suffocation. It was then that I was told to never have kids again, or they would be stillborn and I could have a heart attack or stroke. I made an appointment to see about getting my tubes tied, but felt uneasy about it. Then the day of my appointment I ended up in the hospital with mastitis and blood poisoning and couldn't go. Because of the uneasiness I felt, it took me a year to make another appointment. but I reasoned it out -- it was the logical thing to do under the circumstances. But I felt no peace and had nightmares about it. And the more I prayed for peace, the less I had. I felt that it was God telling me not to get them tied, and I cancelled the surgery. A year later I was pregnant again. Barry wanted me to have an abortion -- something that neither of us has a problem with in the case of the life of the mother. But I couldn't do it. Like I explained to Barry -- if someone broke into our home and held a gun to the head of one of our kids and said that he would kill the child or me, should I say "Kill my child -- my family needs me?" Or like I said to a friend who tried to talk me into an abortion -- If your child fell into a river and you knew s/he would drown, would you let them die, saying "My family needs me", or would you try to save them, knowing full well that you could both die? Me, I would save my child at the cost of my own life. Anyway, I didn't abort Becky. The doctor referred me to an ob/gyn who I later found out is a Christian and prayed for me daily. Part way through the pregnancy, I was also diagnosed with Placenta Previa, where the placenta covers the cervix. This problem increases the risk of an abruption, which kills the baby most of the time, and could kill the mother, and if the placenta is still covering the cervix at delivery, a Caesarean Section MUST be done to prevent the death of Mom and/or baby. But we prayed, and, praise God, it cleared up on its own! And this time, my bp didn't go up until 2 weeks before the baby was due (unlike the other times when it went up in the 6-7th month)! The doctor induced labour the next day, and she was born perfectly healthy! Well, when I had Becky to the doctor for her 2 month check up (standard procedure here in Canada), I asked the doctor to check a mole "While I'm here". It turned out to be malignant melanoma, the only life threatening form of skin cancer! If I hadn't had Becky, it could have been months or even a year until I saw the doctor and by then it could have been too late! And after her birth I had perfect peace about getting my tubes tied. What a blessed way for God to save my life -- my beautiful Becky! Darlene